A while back, I read an online article about a study of the increase in road rage incidents. I believe the piece that caught my attention was the correlation between road rage and the number of bumper stickers on one’s vehicle. The article didn’t indicate if political bumper stickers or humorous stickers were a greater cause of rage, just that there was a “casual” link between the stickers and rage.
Mentioned in the article is the increased numbers of vehicles on the roads and less space leading to competition for that space which causes territoriality and enhanced aggressiveness. Needless to say, my quirky sense of humor began to spool all sorts of road rage incidents through my head. And now as I drive the highways, I observe the backs of cars and trucks and when overloaded with communications, I give wide berth.
The study questioned a sample of drivers about driving habits, type of vehicle driven, and the degree to which they have “customized/personalized” their vehicles. The customization can include stickers, objects hung from mirrors, personalized plates, and even custom paintwork. What I found interesting from the study is 16% of those who engaged in personalization of their ride were more prone to commit acts of road rage. Additionally, the researchers found that customization markers, such as bumper stickers were actually signs of territorial possession. Yikes, the Mini has customized plates and a runner’s sticker on the back window. Watch out, I might be a terror on the highways.
Oh wait, I’m safe: According to the study, the greater the degree of personalization, the more territorial the driver, and therefore, the greater the likelihood they would engage in aggressive and violent behavior.
The report indicates that it does not matter that the vehicle is itself moving, it is the relative encroachment or interference with driving activity, which acts as the cue for increasingly aggressive territorial behavioral responses from drivers. Drivers are animals too, and they will actively protect space or a possession they have become attached too – those who use, for instance a bumper sticker, demonstrate a closer, personal link to their vehicle and are more prone to respond accordingly. Ok, wait a minute; maybe I am an animal on the road, after all, my car has a name. I don’t say I have a Mini, I call her Mini, and I assume Mini is a girl. Holy Running Blisters I am they, they am I…help me AAA!
Apparently, disconnects exist between drivers who are in what they consider a “private space”, but are in fact within the “public” arena. Those drivers are displaying aggressive behavior because they forget they are not in a private setting, but on public highways. Perceived infractions don’t simply include driving too close or making intersecting maneuvers but also include, driving too fast, driving too slow, failing to use turn signals and simply looking at the other driver or their passengers. Ok, let me raise my hand right now. I yell at drivers from the safety of my car and have been known to offer a middle finger salute on an occasion for some of these perceived infractions.
So, now that you have read this far, you are tracking with me. In fact, you might be riding co-pilot in my mind or is that "God is My Co-Pilot"as I spool back over the past few months and remember some memorable cars I’ve seen and I try to imagine how their road rage would present.
I mean think of this, there was the “soccer mom” van proudly displaying several stickers indicating their child was an honor student of the month at a local school. If I upset the mom, would she run at me shaking an encyclopedia while reciting the ABC’s? I suppose I’d be “honored” if she did. Perhaps she would send the child to scold me instead. I could stop the child in its tracks by starting a spelling bee to deflect the rage. I might be “honored” to be raged at by that family.
I can’t help but wonder who is driving the overly stickered cars I’ve spotted on the roadways. Certainly the messages of the stickers provide some insight to the personality in front of me. I have one simple sticker, 13.1. It is my sticker of pride placed on Mini’s rear window after I completed my first half marathon. I’ve not been inclined to add a “Runner Girl” or any other messages regarding my sport. One sticker says it all…any more in my mind is an “in your face” sort of statement. If you see my sticker, you get it. I ran a half marathon. Do you need to know more? Do you even need to know that?
I liken bumper stickers to the election signs that pop up like weeds during an election year. In my mind one is enough, two is enough for me to vote against a candidate. Seriously, if you put one religious sticker on you car I get it. Does two or more give you better odds of walking through the pearly gates? Isn’t that overkill. Is your sticker going to convert me? Or how about political stickers? Go ahead root for your party. Root several times…but ouch, what happens when your party loses? You have that badge stuck on your car until you place something over it to cover it. Have you tried to remove a sticker? There is always the tell tale goo.
Don’t get me wrong. I love freedom of expression. I applaud individuality. I can even laugh at some of the messages on the backs of cars. But then there was this truck….
… I saw at Sam’s club last weekend. I was tickled to see an “Acousticopia” sticker on the back. Acousticopia was a musical instrument company in Annapolis that was owned by the brother of my bestie Em. Additionally, there was a Rolling Stone sticker and many skateboarding stickers. Hmmmm…. what rage would this driver possibly exhibit if I suddenly cut them off in traffic so as to anger them? It plays in my mind like this:
The truck swerves in front of Mini blocking movement down the narrow street. The driver steps from the truck cab with long flowing locks of hair. Just prior to exiting the cab, I noticed his hand grab something from the rack in the back window…Holy Running Blisters, it might be curtains for me, but wait, is that, what???? A Les Paul? Oh ef me he is running towards the Mini screaming…
Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long years
Stole many a man's soul and faith
And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game?
He is singing the Stones Sympathy for the Devil…how about some sympathy for the Widow….
Yes, ever since I read the article I have become cautious of the stickered vehicles. I can’t help but imagine the actions of the pissed off drivers. I mean after all, they have spoken their mind on the back of their vehicles for the world, or the beltway drivers to see. I have even felt a little strange taking a snap of the vehicles, what if they saw me in their rearview mirror? Would they jam on the brakes and come thundering up to the Mini from the vehicle with all the beach stickers?Holy Blisters, the Beach Buggy has screeched to a halt. Gulp, they saw me snap the photo. What to do, what to do…. Mini were are doomed. So, the muscled, steroidal, and tanned Bay Watch looking male is approaching the car and what? Kicking sand at the car? Dude really? Hang Ten buddy…I’m gonna make you a star of the blog…go back to OBX. But no, he has to lean on the car and smear his Hawaiian Tropic all over the windows and threaten to toss me to a rip tide or to the sharks. He says that Mini can be flattened into a surfboard and he is the goon to do the flattening.
This could be one Endless Summer of enraged drivers…
So, I’m driving home two nights ago and there it is, the Mecca of stickered cars. Most of the stickers refer to “Cowgirls and Cowboys” and ropin’ and ridin.’ It is the perfect finish to the blog. I grabbed my iPhone to try and snap the shot…cars are cutting in and out and blocking the perfect snap and then, Oh Snap, it turns onto 395 North. Without hesitation, I change lanes, cut off a driver or two who beep and salute me (damn, what bumper stickers were they displaying?) and I creep up on the bumper. I snapped a quick shot before that Cowgirl Boot Scooted and Boogied towards the Nations Capital. I think she dodged me as if she were the Outlaw Josey Wales. I was sweating, if she had caught sight of Mini I might have suffered like Wyatt Earp or Doc Holiday…
The brakes squealed and the front of the red car rose up like a horse pawing at the air. I patted the dash of Mini and told her to buckle up we were in for a gunfight. I rummaged through my purse and found a nail file. Small comfort for protection as the Annie Oakley looking gal, striding towards the car in her Tony Lama boots, took aim with a wad of chew, which she spat on poor Mini’s windshield.
Mini began to shutter and shake. The Cowgirl leaned in with one booted foot resting on the bumper and stared me squarely in the eyes. I told her, “I don’t want no trouble.” She laughed and smiled showing a mouth of discolored teeth and whipped out a toothpick, which she began to dig into her fetid teeth. She told me the town wasn’t big enough for the two of us and told me to hightail it back to Virginia before she made me get out of the car and dance to her six shooter. I put Mini in reverse and popped the clutch in my nervousness-causing Mini to cut off. Noooooo…. not now…I fumbled to get her started. All the while the Cowgirl was grinning a maniacal grin and picking her teeth. Mini finally turned over and I reversed away from the Cowgirl and beat a hasty retreat to my side of the river.
When I saw this article last week it made me wonder what bumper stickers caused this fracas:
An extreme case of road rage led to a brawl on the Beltway, according to Maryland State Police. Now, two drivers face assault charges. It all started Monday during the evening rush when tempers are already flared. Troopers say a tractor trailer and a Ford F-250 got into an accident on I-495 near Route 355.Witnesses told investigators, Edward Manners, Jr., 44, started fighting with Michael Ramsey, 43 on the side of the road. Then, witnesses said they saw Manners hit Ramsey in the head with a wooden club. When troopers showed up, they took Manners to jail and rescuers took Ramsey to the hospital. Maryland State Police planned to charge him with assault with he got out of the hospital. See, I’m thinking there was some bumper sticker humor, or not, that started the whole altercation.
A word of caution dear readers: guard your bumpers carefully. Your idea of a funny message, or a message of salvation may in fact be the first step in your road rage persona. If I see you and mention to you that you have too many stickers, take that as my intervention for your mental motoring check. I have however decided to give Mini a new message on the back window to alert the driving public to my mindset….
If you can read this sticker, back off you are too close but thank a teacher and please do not come a knockin’ if Mini is a rockin’ because when rapture occurs this vehicle will be unmanned as I will be at OBX at the Brew Thru while my cat beats up your honor roll student of the month!
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