Sometimes It Is Best to Just Seize the Moment.

   Below is an essay I wrote for a recent class I'm enrolled in. Though some resemblances of my family do color the essay, please do not read more into the piece than is there. There is little reality between this piece and some of the Cooksey sisters. The closest would be the remark about the dark hair and grey shock at the front. And no, no such picture exists.

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 If one were to look at a picture of three sisters, the obvious family resemblances would be apparent, but what no one could classify are the marital statuses of the siblings. The three girls have all been married. One sister is divorced with children, one sister is married with children, and one sister is widowed with no children.  A question one might pose is the classification of the women. Are two simple classifications best used to describe these women? Would one call them single and married or would the categories break down further with single, married, divorced, and widowed.

     Certainly if one of the girls were wearing a wedding band, a casual observer might conclude the woman wearing the ring is the married woman.  The widow however may still wear her wedding band as a memento of the husband she loved and buried. Perhaps the divorced sister wears the wedding band because she is uncomfortable with her status as a single woman. Perhaps she has difficulties letting go of the past and moving into the future of her single life. With no ring present in the photo, how could one classify the marital statuses of the women?

     Could the observer look at the faces of the girls and attempt to see wearied eyes or fatigue in the eyes, which might hold a clue to, some perceived sadness?  Would the shock of grey hair on a beautiful head of dark black hair be a clue of stress brought about by a partner’s illness and death?  Does the married sister have the youthful stress free smile that beams in the picture? Are shoulders slumped indicating fatigue? If so, is the fatigue from the changes in marital status or the weariness that comes from juggling a house full of children?

     Does the clothing worn by the sisters allude to their marital classification? Is the sister in the black dress the widow and still in mourning? Is the sister in the bright aqua blouse portraying herself as a divorced woman ready to shrug off the sadness of a failed marriage and bring brightness to her days? What does the red dress signify? Is the bright red and dramatic dress a sign of power? Is the bold statement of that dress from the widow, the divorcee, or the married mom? Who of the three wears these colors and what are they stating with their choice of clothing?

     All three women are of the same build. Clearly they are sisters. Their smiles look to be smiles of happiness as if they have just shared a knowing glance about some funny family secret.  Do the smiles mask sadness? Is the married sister with the house full of children happy? Is she possibly jealous that her two siblings are free of the bonds of marriage and dating? Is she hiding sorrow behind the beautiful smile?

     Are the smiles masking pain for the two single sisters? Are the smiles actually masks to fend off inquiring questions and remarks of empathy and sympathy for the changes in their lifestyles. Perhaps they are happy with their change of status. The picture cannot convey the time line of the life changes.

     Did the married sister recently marry and combine households thus growing her brood? How long did the widow tend to her ailing husband? How long ago did the widow bury him? What about the divorced sister? Was the end of the marriage recent and still painful? Was the marriage long ago dead on the vine and the paperwork to end it was like removing a failed bodily organ allowing for a systematic healing?

     Can the picture of the three beautiful girls indicate the happiness or sadness of their marriages? As one peers into the image, can one determine if the ladies have been married previously? Is there a sign as to which of the three women are mothers? The women are slender and youthful in appearance as though they work out routinely. Do they? One may assume so, or is a sister ill and her slight frame hides a raging disease.

     The questions about the picture can go on and on, but what is apparent with all of the questions is that there is no way to determine which category the women belong in. There are no indicators in the picture to classify them. I find that fact refreshing.

     The picture can be enjoyed for the simple fact that three beautiful sisters sat for a photograph at a family event and were celebrating the bond they share. The smiles were smiles of joy, of sisterly love, and smiles about some crazy antics that a group of children were engaged in off to the side of the picture.

     The smiles were for a husband waiting to join the group photo, a boyfriend juggling a cocktail on his way over to the sisters, and a grandchild running full speed to his grandmother for a hug.  The classifications have no place in the picture of the sisters. Often it seems to be human nature to classify all subjects in our lives. I sometimes find it is best to just seize the moment and let the questions and over- thinking take a holiday.