This year Jackie had scoped out the Target sales and was hot to get some of the DVD’s on sale. She also pointed out that Chef Mate had a sale on several kitchen items and they would be the low, low price of $3 each. The sale items included a sandwich maker and the other items escape me.
I was not imbibing on Thanksgiving as I will be running the Space Coast Half Marathon tomorrow and I alter my diet and alcohol intake well before a run. That doesn’t mean that other family members had not had a nip here or there (not judging). So the decision to head to Wal Mart for the midnight door buster was easily hatched.
By the way, our Tampa Wal Mart is a 24 hour Wal Mart, so how could the “door bust”? It isn’t like they kicked folks out to make them run in again. Off we headed. The traffic on the highway was backed up so we used the lesser know entrance and landed a parking spot, which was a bonus because there were very few available.
When we walked into Wal Mart it was as if a cruise ship had belched off the entire passenger manifest. The folks were wall to wall, and in the aisles where the “bargains” were scheduled to roll out, folks were lined up and sitting in chairs. Some of the bargains didn’t “roll” until 3 or 4 am. Jackie the head forager shepherded Sue and me to the movie and DVD section. Jackie took one look at the selection and announced that there had to be another location for the items in the Wal Mart flyer and off we trotted like obedient children with Jackie in the lead.
By gosh, she was correct. In the dairy aisle were the crates and crates of the Blue Rays, DVD, and CDs. Jackie was like a dog on a hunt. I am still trying to determine how she knew to find them, but then I remembered, she is a Black Friday aficionado.
Then the terminal wait began. We hopped in line and waited, and waited, and waited as cashier after cashier turned on their blinking light to call for register help. We were doing fairly well and then it happened, our cashier turned on the light. We were four people from freedom and the clock was ticking to 1 am. But not to be disappointed, Jackie pointed out the gent two carts in front of us. He was in line with a cart full of his weekly groceries. He had a 10 pack of toilet tissue, a dozen chocolate iced donuts, some V8 Fusion, milk, eggs…you get the picture. It was so incongruent that the store was full of Black Friday shoppers and he was just buying groceries. The three of us chatted about that and determined it is his usual routine, and Black Friday be damned, he was getting his groceries. We named him Norman Bates and decided he was headed home to mom and the hotel.
Sue and Jackie paid up (I bought nothing, rare, I know) and we took Sue home. Jackie and I had decided to hit Target when it opened at 4 am. No reason, just to rub elbows with the masses and find a few laughs along the way. In preparation we decided to fuel up with Starbucks.
Jackie directed me north of Target to a Starbucks she swore would be open. Starbucks wasn’t open, but the comedy Gods decided since we were on such a mission we should be rewarded by seeing the dumb move of the night. Yes, there was a driver who had attempted (we think) to go through the little car wash across from Starbucks. For some reason the driver made and abrupt right turn in to the ditch next to the car wash. No one was hurt; the air bag had not even inflated. There was one Pasco County Sheriff there and we assumed more help was on the way. The individual who had been driving had attempted to back up…ha, like that was going to work. Instead the back wheels had been ground down deep into the wet earth and the side of the car wash was coated with the pitch black Florida dirt. Jackie missed the dirt, so we circled the building a second time for her to see it. Now don’t hate. You know if you had seen this at 1:30 in the morning you would have been chuckling and shaking your head; and much like Jackie and me, in agreement that there had to be some Thanksgiving alcohol involved. Welcome to Black Friday…
With Starbucks closed, Jackie suggested the Dunkin’ Donuts a little further north. After winding through several darkened shopping center parking lots, I was just praying for a light at DD…nope another disappointment. So, I suggested Waffle House even further north. After all, Waffle House is 24 hours and always has coffee brewing. Waffle House did not disappoint in coffee and clientele. Jackie and I were pleased to see a table of four moms eating a nutritious breakfast while perusing the Target sale flyer. I was glad to see them carb loading for the journey that awaited them at 4 am.
With coffee in hand, Jackie and I stopped by the mall to see what was open. The restaurants and bars were having last call and the patrons were heading to their cars and then we saw her. One tiny little girl backed up against the front doors of Penny’s. She was all alone, non-plussed and either early for work or determined to score a big Black Friday bargain. We didn’t stop and I did worry that she was there alone, but in Florida you can carry a licensed weapon, so I figured she had that covered. After all, how best to protect your million dollar spot at the front door?
We turned the car south and headed to our final destination. Target. The big round sign was looming in the distance, visible above the tree line, and fighting the almost full moon for space in the black sky. Then it hit me, Black Friday. Black because we are out in the darkness of night looking for the elusive bargains? It took on a whole new meaning. It was black outside, creepy black and I was glad that the Target lot was fairly well lit. It also hit me right then and there that we were not going shopping. One look at the line snaking around Target was enough to scare off this savvy shopper: instead the line prompted me to suggest to Jackie that we speak to these determined folks and write this week’s blog about the “Target” people.
We headed to the front of the line, and the real fun began. I mentioned to the ladies and gents backed up against the front doors of Target that I was writing an article about the folks waiting for their Target bargains and suddenly, everyone was my friend. Well almost everyone, there was the crabby lady towards the end of the line with the GAP sweatshirt, but more about her later.
There was a long line of Target carts pushed and strung together cordoning off the front line people. Naturally my first question was regarding the cart barricade. A woman named Maritza spoke up and told me that her group of a dozen or so folks have been the first folks in line at this particular Target for three years running. She continued to explain that in years past people would sit in their cars and when the doors opened, they would hop out and bum rush the doors causing the “front liners” to be trampled and miss some of their well laid plans of bargains.
I asked when they had set up camp and she told me 4:27 pm. Not bad; a 12 hour wait to buy what? Maritza proudly told me they were intending to obtain 27 of the $3 sandwich makers. WTF? 27 sandwich makers. Hello EBay! She asked if I wanted one and I answered the only sandwich maker I want is the one I kick out of bed in the morning with instructions to hold the onions and double the mayo.
I was also informed by this group that they would be snagging several of the 40” TVs that were on the Black Friday bargain list. And they were happy to introduce me to their friend Gabe who was chasing the Barbie Scooter. One of the young men with this group had an industrial sized coffee pot and was passing out hot chocolate which I declined in favor of my Waffle House coffee. They also had a friend with them called Princess the Soccer Mom, though she is not really a soccer mom, she was hit by a soccer ball once and the name was aptly applied. As we were heading further up the line, Lisa hollered that we should put in the blog that Shell provided free coffee. Jackie and I laughed that the kid in the Shell Drive Through Car Wash ditch could have used a little.
We told them where to find the blog and headed down the line. The next group we stopped at said they camped out at 9:30. They too were looking for the elusive 40” TV. I asked if they knew how many were in the store and said 72. Looking back at the line I was calculating their odds. So, I hollered out for a show of hands for the 40” TV and it seemed as though they might be lucky, but anyone past them, not so much. This group was playing UNO and drinking beer on the Target sidewalk. Suzanne in the group said they were trying to get Play Station 3 and the bundles crap that goes with it. Brittany was celebrating her birthday. They offered us a brew, but the Waffle House coffee seemed a good bet, and BINGO, or UNO it was!
We wandered a bit further and met Jill from IKEA and her friend Patti a Pharmacist at University Community Hospital. They were waiting to grab a DVD Player, and WII Fit bundles. A Pasco County Sheriff strolled up to Jill and Pattie and mentioned he was looking for beer. I asked if he was looking to drink one or bust someone and he immediately barked, “NO COMMENT”. What I missed, and Jackie scooped for me, was that Jill provided him with the tag number of a silver BMW 3 series and pointed out BEER. She’d written the pertinent information on her Target Sales Map. WOW…Black Friday at its best. Snitches in the midst, or perhaps that is bitches in the midst.
We turned the corner of the store and the line was snaking back and forth up and down the parking lot. Jackie was drawn to a couple because Erica was all bundled up in a Gator’s Snuggie. She and her man friend said they wanted to snag an iPod touch and a 40” TV. I laughed and pointed out that was a long stretch based on our interview from the front of the line to them. He said I was a “ray of sunshine” and thanked me …LOL…sorry buddy, I can count and by then there were 200+ folks in front of him looking for the same effen TV.
We then met Brian a nurse at the VA…yup you guessed, he wanted a 40” TV as well. I figured that last guy was so happy with my prediction of “NOT” that I’d keep that to myself this time. Brian got in line at 12:30, said he wasn’t working Friday so the sleep deprivation was no big deal.
Then we scooted several hundred feet to the “Dumpster People”, so named, because they were camped out next to the stinking dumpster. They were very drunk. Solo cups abounded with amber colored liquor in them, and again, Jackie and I were offered a drink. Again, the Waffle House coffee remained clutched in our hands and that was a good thing because by then the friendly NO Comment Sherriff had turned on his lights and was camped out with the silver BMW…holy Black Friday…someone’s shopping was coming to an abrupt end and it hadn’t even started.
Then the commotion began, the line started shuffling forward it was 3:15. People were picking up their chairs and blankets and moving slowly in line like zombies. Their eyes looked glazed over and I was watching them struggle to close their camping chairs. I asked one group what they intended to do with them. Some said they would dash them to their cars, some said toss them in the shopping cart, and others had no response. I asked these folks when they got there and they were in the 2:45 to 3 am range. And, they were the grumpies. Grumpy because they had figured out the 40” TV was not in their grasp? Not sure, wasn’t asking that again. These Grumpies were also the ones who when asked their names, wanted to know why…well…I wanted to give you a shout out…and when asked what they were shopping for said, everything. So, hey, grumpy tall dark haired lady in the dated GAP sweatshirt…here is your shout out…Happy Holidays….you made my night by giving me a little more to write about!
Jackie and I decided we liked the first in line, front door folks, so we wandered back to say goodnight and take a few pictures. They were still having a good time. Devon the hot chocolate kid mentioned that a guy had driven by and offered him $50 for his place in line and I agreed with him that it was worth much more. He said another guy offered a fully cooked Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings if he’d give up his spot. Again we all agreed it wasn’t worth it. Kim said a cop wandered by and she offered him some Krispy Kremes to watch her car and he offered to tazer her. Don’t you love the joy the holidays bring? The front liners then introduced Steve the door leaner who is the official time keeper and he told us it was 3:25.
Jackie and I decided we’d had enough for one night and bid them a fun Black Friday. Jackie and I also agreed that interviewing the “line” was more fun than two single women should ever have on Black Friday.
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