The British Monarchy has opened a Face Book page. As of a few minutes ago when I “Liked” the page there were 218, 287 people that also like the page. In the days following the announcement of this momentous occasion, the news media was quick to mention that the Queen Mum herself would NOT be communicating on the page. Hmmm…dislike! I think she would have lots to say. In fact, while having dinner with Chuck Carr and David Taylor this week we agreed that some of her Face Book updates could be some of the most compelling tidbits ever written. Moments that would cause those linked to her, to catch their breath in awe of her insightful musings.
For instance, there is absolutely no way George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion and the musical adaptation; My Fair Lady could have possibly been so creative to have penned such memorable witticisms as, “Them 'as pinched it, done her in.” I believe the Queen mumbled that offhandedly to a palace servant regarding the hanging of Gwynne Owen Evans at Strangeway’s Prison in Manchester. Gwynne was hanged for murder on August 13, 1964. From the chambermaid’s ear to the ears of Lerner and Lowe.
Additionally, I have it on good authority that the Queen was a bit in her Pimm’s Cup when she staggered to the fence of The Gold Cup, which is affectionately known as the Ascot Races, in 1964 bellowing at the top of her lungs, “Come on Dover! Move yer Bloomin Arse!” The truth of the matter is that the race was rained out and no horses were able to take the track. However, the always efficient Queen Mum had her attendants enter the track and run like mudders for her shear enjoyment. Dover was the butler from the west wing of Buckingham Palace and the Queen had money riding on his triumphant finish. Thus, her utterance of the famous line. Which too, was appropriately added to the script of My Fair Lady.
So, as you can already tell, Elizabeth, Liz as I affectionately refer to her, has quite a sense of humor and no filter when remarking to the hired help. Which again, has me wondering what her daily status updates to The British Monarchy Face Book page would be. A press release about the Face Book page indicated one cannot actually poke the Queen…hmmm…Really? Thinking back to today’s “Like” count….
NEWS FEED
What’s on your mind?
Queen Mum: I have been poked by over a quarter million unwashed public.
I would think that status update will have thousands of thumbs up Likes and many more off hand comments like the one from Lenny in Piccadilly who was quick to respond….First. Followed by Sir John Bellecamp stating: Poke? It was a romp in the hay you sassy girl. Followed by hundreds on WTF? WTH? SMHROFL, and LOL’s.
NEWS FEED
What’s on your mind?
Queen Mum: If you want to hit me up on here remember this, you can open with 'Madam' and close with 'I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant'. Just sayin’.
NEWS FEED
What’s on your mind?
Queen Mum: Woot…just kicked that damned Corgi! Used to ring a bell to have the puddles cleaned up…now I just bellow like a fishwife…CLEAN UP in the Parlor! ‘Cause I can.
NEWS FEED
What’s on your mind?
Queen Mum: This hat is giving me a headache and I look like a stuffed pheasant.
NEWS FEED
What’s on your mind?
Queen Mum: Well HELLLLL OOOO palace guard…I see a BIG promotion in YOUR future…! I am chuffed to bits to see you!
NEWS FEED
What’s on your mind?
Queen Mum: I’m on a piss! I’ll be arse over tit before much longer.
So dear friends, as you can see. My friend Liz is much like the rest of us on Face Book. Every moment of every day is a reportable happening no matter how large or small. I’ve heard rumor, the Queen prefers to make her own tea and much like some of my morning comments “French Press”, I can see her posting “English Tea”.
TaTa,
The Widow
Priceless!
ReplyDelete